You thought i wasn't watching.

You thought everything would just go away,

like it never happened.

But it did happen, you let it happen.

I know i should have been more careful,

I know you're not the only one to blame.

But when i think of it,

one thing always comes to my mind;

how could you?

If i didn't know,.. it wasn't real.

If i didn't see,.. you could just pretend,

like it never happened.

But i know it did, you know it did.

I should have seen it coming.

I should have realized.

But how would I?

Only you knew about it, so..

how could you?

You hurt me, like never before.

You watched me die, and you didn't even care.

You saw my broken heart, but had no time.

You left me, standing alone.

You loved me, but not anymore..

How many times haven't you thought:

   did that really happened?

And how often haven't you denied it to yourself:

  no, no it isn't true!

I mean, some of the things you do

you just wish you could undo.

And then, since that's not possible, you

pretend they actually never occured.

     Living a lie

No, I wouldn't call it that. Would you?

But sometimes you get this feeling of guilt.

Like you're doing something you shouldn't,

not that it's anybodies business but your own,

but you just don't feel safe.

You've got to tell someone.

You want to tell someone.

You don't want to be the only one.

You don't want to be alone.

But still,

you've got to keep it a secret.

No one can ever find out.

Because if they do,

they will try to help you.

And if they help you,

you are lost forever!

 I was never really alone, was I.

It wasn't that bad, was it.

I mean,

things could have been worse, right!?

 Imagine actually HAVING nothing to eat.

To see those bones clearer and clearer,

to get weaker and weaker,

and not intending for it to happen.

 I wasn't  wishing for it, was I.

It wasn't really my fault, was it.

You know,

it just kept on coming, by force!

 I didn't make it this way myself.

It was all the things people said,

over and over again,

and I wasn't strong enough to hear them.

 I wasn't planing for it, was I.

It wasn't meant to be, was it.

It's just,

I never was the way I wanted to be.

 Everybody changed and so did I.

Things happened that I couldn't control,

and being in control,

that was very important to me.

 I wasn't trying to escape, was I.

It wasn't the most important thing, was it.

You see,

I had everything and everything to loose.

 Never satisfied, yeah that's me.

Always trying to achieve better, yeah that's me,

and always succeding..,

well,.. I wasn't succesful this time.